Recruiting & Rolling over

This week has been stressful, hard, and exciting at the same time.  Tomorrow I am going to Jacksonville to see my friend Melissa and her twin girls Rebecca and Elizabeth.  I NEED to get out of this house.  I am going crazy staying inside 24/7 with no friends or family here for support.  I should have gone home and it is STILL on my mind, but I don't know if it will happen.

Mike left sunday for 6 weeks and 4 days of recruiting school.  At first we HATED the idea of being a recruiter, but now we love it.  We love it for the fact that; A) we are stationary for 3 years, no moving B) NO DEPLOYMENTS!!!!!!!! C) Mike gets to watch Riley grow up.  This could not have come at a better time Riley being as young as he is.  I think about all my friends who have husbands on deployments right now missing out on their children's lives and I do not know how they do it.  They are so strong and I look up to them.  I hated how Mike missed out on our pregnancy, but now looking back I would rather him miss out on that rather than Riley's childhood.  You cannot get these years back.

On Monday, Riley decided to roll over.  The day AFTER Mike left.  I watched him do it and sat there like what did my baby just do?!  Riley looked at me like WTF Mom, what just happened!?  hahaha  It took him a few days, but yesterday he started doing it again, and again, and again, and again.  He cannot be on his tummy more than a couple minutes now without rolling over to one side.  I was so incredibly sad that Mike missed this milestone in his life and the fact he is getting so good at holding on to his toys and playing with them.  He can also touch his feet and he is acting like he is wanting to sit up all by himself.  My little boy is developing so well right now.  It makes me happy and sad at the same time

I just have to say God is Amazing.  I am still on my road to get back to where I was when I was in WA.  I cannot believe that just in like a few short months time, I can fall completely off track.  :(  I am slowly getting back on the path I was on.  I hate not having a Church and great Church friends (Lindsay, Jessica, Lauren, Sarah, Sarah K, Jenny...)  I miss all our dates and Bible Studies.  Being alone (minus a couple friends) here in GA really makes me see that I LOVE having that support of family and friends.  I miss my Starbucks dates at our table, getting the babies together, going on post and seeing my love and puppies, going to school and seeing all my girls, and so much more.  I miss you all so much, and love you so much more.

I will try my best to update in Jacksonville!!!

Papa

Dear Papa,

It has been almost 15 years since God took you to Heaven and I have missed you every day since you have been gone.  I remember the night my parents got the call saying you went peacefully (I was bad and listened in on the phone call).  That was the saddest night of my life.  I loved every moment and memory we shared.  Every telephone call was my favorite part of the day when you called.  Asking me about how many teeth I lost and if I had a boyfriend yet.  haha  You always told me you wanted to meet my boyfriends to make sure they were worthy enough for me.  You also told me you wanted to be there at my wedding, well Papa I am glad you were.  I am glad you were watching down from Heaven at Mike and I on our wedding day.  I even talked to you and told you on that day that I was sure of Mike and wished you were there.  I wish you were here to meet your great grandson Riley.  You would love him.  He loves to be silly and smile, just like how you were with all your grandchildren.  I miss you and love you.  RIP

to my Internet Girls

To my internet ladies, they know who they are.  I don't know what I would have done without you for the past 2 deployments and these next 6 weeks.  You have been with me through all the ups and downs, crazy pregnant lady freak outs, and just me being my random self.  I am so glad that I have met some of you and cannot wait to meet more of you.  I am just so glad that I have been able to find a support group that knows what I am going through with the Military and that we can bash them when needed.  I have loved all our wacky, out there conversations, the laughs and the tears (happy and sad).  I love all our different personalities and if we seem to start clashing, we can talk about it and work it out.  That we are sassy and sarcastic without it going in the wrong direction.  I love you all and do not know where I would be without you.  Please never leave me.  :D

Love, me

Exes...

To those that broke my heart in the past, I want to thank you.  You both made me a stronger person for what you did.  You both ended up being immature boys who couldn't tell me the truth about why you wanted to break up with me, or why you did.    Finding a new girlfriend before you break off your current relationship is cowardly, and cheating on someone is not forgivable.  You have made me a better person, a stronger person for the Lord and myself.  You have led me to the greatest person of all time, my husband who I know would do nothing to hurt me the way you both have hurt me in the past.  The past is the past now and so is the memory of you....dust.

to the Dreamer in you

Today, or your 5th day is to write a letter to your dreams.  I have been trying to swirl all my dreams around in my head for a while and write them down on paper.

Dear Dreams,

I have been chasing you since I was old enough to know what you were.  Back then you were silly dreams of wanting a puppy (that I got when I was 18), hoping I got new toys, to making friends, and becoming a Vet one day.  Then came my teen years of wanting a boyfriend, a job, good grades, to make sure I had a good high school experience, being loved by my family, and being accepted.  Now, my dreams are totally different.  I dream of the day I have my own classroom full of Kindergarten students, watching my son grow up to be the most wonderful man, and to watch my husband become the best man he can be later in life to me, and his son.  Thank you for letting me be a dreamer throughout my life and letting me catch you.  I cannot wait to see what you come up with. ;)

Love, me

Brothers...

Dane and Reid,

As your older sister, I tried to make a good example for you.  I have watched you grow up, through all your ups and downs.   I remember it all, from the dropping of the toys on each others heads, to the fights, to getting in sleeping bags and sliding down the stairs, to the old cabin, stitches, our own fights, etc.  Now you both are young men who are dedicated to doing something great with their lives.  I am proud to be your sister.  Now the tables have turned, to show Riley that their uncles are the coolest people in the world and teach him valuable uncle values.  I am thankful for you both, and that God gave me the coolest brothers in the world.  I love you both!

Mom & Dad

Mom & Dad,

I just wanted to thank you for giving me the life that I deserved.  I feel that God sent you to me, adopt me and love me unconditionally.  You raised me right with morals and values that I hope to instill in Riley one day.  I had an amazing childhood, to which I want to give Riley as well.  Going on all our excursions of hiking, biking, skiing, dive trips, and vacations.  I have loved every minute of my life, even when I was being bad and being punished.  I love you both so much and thank you again for everything.